Monday morning run

Memorial day. I made the mistake of staying up too late last night. Reading, paying bills...basic procrastination.
After 8 years in the news business, I still forget that I work these Mondays that most people have off. I think sometimes I like to pretend that I have a normal job where long weekends exist. However, I can't complain, I don't even have to be at work until 3pm. But back to stayng up until 2am, not smart seeing how I had to wake up to beat the heat and do my 36 minute run.
Now if you are a runner, 36 minutes is a piece of cake...if you are not a runner, you would rather eat a piece of cake.
I am striving towards being the first description. My alarm started yelling at me to open my eyes around 6:45am, I found myself begging my Mom for just five more minutes. Which is strange because she lives in Marlborough, Massachusetts and I live in Jupiter, FL. I can also pretty much guarantee she wasn't even awake at this point of pre-sunrise.
An hour later and a funny dream of my highschool friends which no-one but them would understand so I'll tell them in person..I manage to roll out of bed. I stumble into the bathroom with one eye open which doesn't help because I am basically one of the blind mice without my contacts. A blind mice who heard her unsuspecting cat MEOW out when I nearly stepped on her in my sleepy motivation to do my 36 minute monday morning training run.

After putting on my new running socks I invested in (they really do make the difference) and my new tank top that does something called, wicking??? This wicking type material is supposed to keep the sweat from seeping into your clothes..we'll see...I hear wicking and I think of my hometown up north where everything is "wicked"...ie. wicked aweome, wicked cool, wicked long run that I was about to do. Again I remind myself I am signed up to run a marathon in 5 months.

And out I go. I am tired. I am determined to cross today's finish line. Slowly I labor thru the first 3 minutes. I am now up to 3 minutes running, 1 minute walking...total run time today is 36 minutes. I am like a kid on Christmas waiting to see what this morning will bring..a big present of not wanting to die at 25 minutes or a lump of coal as I faint midway thru.

First 11 minutes go by okay...THANK YOU Santa! I am not counting down until my minute of heaven (or walking for you non-marathon trainees). It is not as hot as it was Saturday. Of course we're in Florida so that means it's only about 90 in the shade. I am beginning to become familiar with the homes I run by....the home with the giant American flag that when I run by inspires me...I reminds me of what is happening in the world...of those people fighting this war we began and not coming home. It is one of those reminders that pushes me to do something because I can, because I am healthy and because I can help someone..

I run by Dorchester street which reminds me of my Aunt Peggy. My mom, Peg and their huge irish catholic family grew up in Dorchester, MA. That simple street sign reminds me of all the stories she and my mom have told us kids over the years about their childhood--instilling in each of us with each story the importance of family in such a subtle, funny, loving way that none of us realized at the time that it would shape us and our view of what a family is. Peggy, whose nickname is
(lovingly) the "Sears die-hard"..as in sears die-hard battery. She is so strong and just never gives up...pushing all of us to do our best..and seriously this woman really taught us 16 cousins what it means to be a family. Her most well-known
saying, "Okay kids we're building memories ," still makes the 16 of us howl with delight..because that saying was always said in the midst of absolute chaos during group family vacations. So as I run by Dorchester street this morning, I push myself a little harder...knowing that my Aunt Peggy is pushing herself everyday to beat her cancer.

Then it's minute 23...one minute to walk and then 25. I am breathing hard, tired...thinking man when does this get easy?
But I continue...it's hot and I could just stop. There's no-one around...no-one would know. But I would. And if I wanted to stop I wouldn't have become a part of Team in Training..I would be sleeping right now. And damnit I am going to do this.
So I look at my stopwatch (another new running addition) and I run towards 28 minutes...and funny, it's not as bad as it was Saturday when I am sure I looked like I was practicing my lamaze breathing --strange for someone who has no plans on doing that for real for a while. But today, 31 minutes came okay. Then I walked....and wanted to a cartwheel because after walking a minute it was 32 minutes and then just 3 more to run...and in my head I see the finish line and I hear the crowd..
I hear my friends, my family screaming, "You can do it..." I think of the money I will raise and where it will go. I think maybe there will be a cure with every one of us who cross this finish line...
and then I look down at my watch and it's 35:02...I walk the last minute like my training book tells me to. I smile. I head upstairs to stretch out and look ahead at Wednesday's run.

FIRST TEAM RUN

When my alarm pulled me from what was just a few hours of sleep, I thought, "ok here I go."
Being the exact opposite of a morning person, I suprised myself because I never even thought about not getting up, or rolling over and
just saying 5 more minutes. You see, I am a reporter who works thru the 11 o'clock news and while I tried to get home early last night - early being midnight, it didn't happen. I walked in around 12:40am and my college roommate who is visiting, has arrived while I was at work.
So after we caught up and the clock turned 1:30am, I laid out my clothes, directions to the meeting place and fell asleep, which catches me up to the alarm going off...

This all began about 2 months ago. I was reading Self magazine I saw an ad for "Team in Training."
It was about an first time marathon, The Nike 26.2 Women's Marathon to benefit the Leukemia-Lymphomia Society. As far as Team in Training I've heard about this organization, but never went any further than hearing a little bit about how these
people train together and raise money for leukemia before a thought popped in my head. "That's amazing, but I hate running, I could never do it." But last month, that voice - first quiet than screaming yelled, "YES YOU CAN."
It's funny that it happened now, the last year that voice has been quietly pulling me along, saying "C'mon Liz, you can just keep plugging." It began about a year ago, a year Memorial Day 2003. The guy I was in love with, told me he need space, that he had just moved and wanted to be single . The next day, while I was still with him in Orlando (I lived 2 hours south in Florida), I get a call that one of my best friend's mom-who I've known literally my whole life, had a stroke and died..

So the heartbreak of breaking up and then more importantly the loss of Mrs. Tucker jolted me into a place I stayed for far too long. I suppose if all had gone right after those 2 days, I may have stayed positive..
but I had to have minor surgery that proved to be major pain. During recovery I learned that Orlando boyfriend aparently decided to find his new found "space" with a 19-year old intern (I had just turned 30)! A blow to the ego and suddenly the gym seemed far away. While life kept dealing small
blows, I was also job searching feverishy and had been for a year. I'm a television news reporter and it's tough to find a new job..especially when you are gaining weight instead of losing it. I did though and moved across the state to the West Palm Beach market..and the last 6 months I've been getting over feeling bad, sad and missing the ex...to looking to make my life better and hopefully help others in the process.

Okay, fast forward to Self magazine: I see this ad for the Nike 26.2 First Womens' Marathon in San Fran.
And this voice, that voice we all have...started coaxing me to call and get info. "You are crazy," I talk back..
but I did call and I did get information. All the while telling Tracey on the other line with this area's Team in Training, "Now, listen I mean I REALLY can't run, I run 3 minutes and think that's a small miracle."

She assured me, I would be alone and invited me to the Team in Training kick off last Saturday. Of course when she told me the date, I thought oh oh, I have a wedding to go to in Massachusetts back home that night.
But I knew if I didn't make the kick off I would never make the first fun. So I got a flight at 1pm (made for a RACE of a differnt kind , once the plane landed!) But after sitting there for an hour, I knew I would do this. I would
race 3500 dollars for this organization and I would run a marathon.

It didn't matter that I am carrying 25 extra pounds, or that I work the nightshift and will miss some things during the week..what matters is what I saw and heard at the meeting. This organization has raised 1 /2 billion, that's right BILLION dollars since it started for blood related cancers. The kind that took the life of an innocent, sweet 15-year old that I thought of as my little brother 10-years ago. The kind that my Aunt Peggy is fighting now...
Maybe if I help just a little it will make a difference.

And that is what helped me get thru 30 minutes this morning. Running 2 minutes, walking 1 minute.
I did it twice this week, nearly dying both times...and unfortunately I wanted to throw up at around 25 minutes this morning. But I met another girl, who is not a runner and she and I ran together. While I get the feeling she wasn't hurting as much as me, I appreciated her sticking by me as I labored through!

And you know I was so anxious about this run, "Will I be the only novice?" "Will I be the last one in?" "Will everyone look at me and whisper, she'll never make it." I'm glad I was not the only beginner, I wasn't last-but even if I were, it wouldn't have mattered and I don't think there were any whispers.

I was certainly one of the slowest and I enjoyed and could relate to one woman who said as I jogged by,
"My own shadow is passing me now, but in on race day I'll pass everyone." I thought, my shadow passed out at 15 minutes! But I too, believe I'll be there on race day. I don't care how long it takes me, but I'll be there and I will cross the finish line. And that money that I raise will hopefully make a difference. As for the fog of the last year, it's the kind I think lots of people experience...it doesn't even take a traumatic event. But this morning thanks to my new team members and this new goal, that fog seemed to fade away....